Crap, crap, CRAPPITY, crap!

Crap, crap, CRAPPITY, crap!

or: CRAP!

Everybody hates me. Nobody loves me. I'm gonna' go eat worms…

Everyone laughed at me when I dropped $600 on a drafting chair. But, for 32 years it was the most comfortable chair in the house.

Then I broke it.


The "knuckle" connecting the seat back to the uprights snapped in two. The lower half is secured by screws and is easily removed. The top half, that fits in the seat back, appears fused. It ain't movin'. CRAP! I go to bed horribly depressed.

I'm looking at it again this morning when I can hear my late brother Willi tsk tsk-ing me. "Don't be a Deckie!"  (Which was how you knew he was really pissed. Nothing's worse than a deckie.)

Now, Willi was a maritime engineer, Scotty from Star Trek. If your ship moved on, in or under the water, Willi was the guy you called to fix it. Sailors need one of two licenses to sail: Engineer (rather self explanatory) or Deck (everybody else) Willi, being Willi, was a Dualie, he was both. As far as Engineers were concerned, Deckies have only one reason to live; They break things so Engineers have something to do.

Willi figured if he could take it apart, he could fix it, and anything Willi could touch, he could take apart. OK, Willi, you're on, let's take it apart. If in fact the upper knuckle is permanently fused into the seat back, then digging it out may make a mess but, won't render the chair any less operational. I take it down to the garage, secure the knuckle in the vise and start to twist the seat back. I'm convinced it's going to snap. It won't budge. But, with Willi in my heart, my strength is that of ten grinches plus two. I give it all I got and… it moves!!! 30 minutes of twisting and pulling and I have it out. Woo hoo!

With the knuckle disassembled the problem is clear. My $600 chair is boo booed for want of a 39¢ bolt!  Well, 39¢ to the manufacturer, they made thousands. Me, I need one. This is going to be a custom job. Most of the local machine shops brag of aerospace connections, their samples pages are thousands of these, thousands of those… I'm thinking I'll have better luck with the custom Harley shops where one-of-a-kinds are an everyday thing.

So Willi, sail on. Thanks for the visit, thanks for the help. R.I.P. I'm no engineer but, I'm no deckie!

Happy Trails

3 Comments so far

Glenn D Brown's picture

<p>Hey Smitty! &nbsp;Long time. &nbsp;Let&#39;s talk soon and get together; we have a long-standing lunch date that we never made. &nbsp;I&#39;m smiling because I recognize that scanner! &nbsp;Pulled my ass out of the fire in the dead of night on more than one occasion. &nbsp;How ya been doing?</p>
Jued Martinez's picture

<p>Just take a Dowel of that circular Size and Gorilla Glue both ends of it!</p> <p><strong>!Voila! &mdash; Fixed!</strong></p>
Gerry McDade's picture

I'm much more of a deckie than an engineer. Whenever I manage to pull off a home repair, I'm over the moon! Is that the original color guide for Marvel Fanfare #? I just read that to discuss on my X-Men podcast. Love that book!


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